So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
