I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
