you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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