i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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