sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
