does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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