her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
