Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
