After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
