Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wish you could order shots online.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
