thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
