i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
