My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
