my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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