They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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