is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
