i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
