I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
