so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
