he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
