I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
vagina is talking i cant
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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