just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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