i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
vagina is talking i cant
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
