just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
