Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
