I don't think brook has ever known best
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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