it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
