i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
