dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
