Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
