Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
