Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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