I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
