By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
