she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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