she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
