There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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