Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
