hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
