it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it was like eating out sand paper
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
