You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
and you fell through a lawn chair
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
