I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
