***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
