Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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