I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
