i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
