used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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