So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
