Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
