hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Green mimosas i think yes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
