AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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