Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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