idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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