Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
