I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
