So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
