This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
