Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
