is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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