It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
