Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
