You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
